Sunday, August 4, 2019

An Immodest Proposal/A Tale of Two El Pasos

This past Thursday, a man left my hometown in the Dallas area and drove to El Paso, where he stopped by Wal-Mart to pick up some groceries.

Two days later on Saturday, another man also drove from the Dallas area and drove to El Paso, where he stopped by a Wal-Mart to shoot people.

One of those men was my father.

The other was a domestic terrorist.

I'm not going to waste anyone's time with an angry rant. I'm merely going to offer my congratulations to those steadfast folks still sticking to the NRA party line, who are even today posting "they can take my guns out of my cold dead hands" nonsense on Facebook.

To quote from Four Weddings and a Funeral, "you must be very proud."

In fact, might I suggest you stop this false modesty by pretending you've nothing to do with this latest event. After all, you've regaled us with your stances on race, gender and -- of course -- guns for months on social media. Surely now's not the time to turn shy. Go on, "tell us how it is" that another man legally purchased a gun and legally carried it, using those laws you've told us all how important are to you, into a store to kill people.

Don't be bashful and disavow his actions as a mental illness problem. Why, you've worked hard to elect a leader who stands up for the racism you've previously had to keep under wraps, so step up to the plate and own it.

Mental illness -- oh, come now. Next you'll be offering up your thoughts and prayers, which, I know lots of people say do nothing -- but I disagree. Judging from the vitriol you share online, filled with self-righteous indignation over slavery reparations, rage at certain female members of Congress and my personal favorite -- those adorable "respect the flag" posts that completely overlook any true meaning of patriotism, I'm guessing this is exactly the kind of thing you've been praying for the whole time.

And here's a fun fact -- did you know the Trump administration owes the El Paso police dept hundreds of thousands of dollars for protecting his last rally there? Money he has yet to pay back?

I really have to hand it to you - who knew that all this time, your "blue lives matter" signs really meant "(don't pay) back the blue?"

I say, well played. And you're really coming into your own now. You're not hiding behind thinly veiled jabs anymore. You're letting your KKK flag fly freely.

Bravo. You've saved the rest of us the trouble of wondering who the next shooter's coming from, and as a parent whose children have been doing active shooter drills since kindergarten (not active crazy people drills or active axe-murderer drills, I might add) I appreciate that.

I like how you've gone all out with your support of the NRA -- murdered schoolchildren and grandparents be damned. You're going down with that ship, and I can almost hear the violins on the deck of the Titanic with every tweet.

You've shown us that of all the things you are, a patriotic American isn't one of them. Your knowledge of the Constitution begins and ends with the number two -- but, goodness, who needs math?

If I had anything else to say -- and hello, I'm a woman, so who cares -- I would merely quote your own words back to you.

America -- Love or Leave it.

By all means, do just that.

Leave it. Surely there's some other country you'd find more suitable to your views. I hear Saudi Arabia is nice and warm this time of year.
Except there's that tiny detail of you not liking "those people."

Gosh, well, perhaps you could just do what the rest of us are trying to do.

Make America Good Again.

For all of us. Those who were born here. And those who've been jailed just trying to get here.

"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"