Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Valentine's Day from The Getaway Girls New Orleans!  Nothing says romance like a top five list,  so in case you're considering accepting a date from that gorgeous, potentially murderous dude with an appetite for blood and filthy nails, may I present:

The Getaway Girls New Orleans Top Five Reasons a Flesh-Eating Scavenger is a Bad Valentine

1. Sharp, bloody claws mean someone desperately needs a manicure and it’s not you.  Guess who’s getting the spa certificate this year?

2. If you think getting a table is tough now, wait till your date eats the hostess.  Forget dinner reservations at that cute little bistro you’ve been eyeing – you can’t even risk Red Lobster. That’s okay, you think – lots of couples opt to stay at home on the busiest restaurant night of the year, which brings us to Reason #3 . . . 

3. Nothing kills a romantic meal at home like homicide.  And when you bring home a scavenger, your date thinks you’re on the menu – and that’s not a euphemism for anything sexy unless you’re into having your leg gnawed off.  In which case, I guess we know who doesn’t need a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey this year.

4. Flowers and candy? Think again.  You can’t trust this guy to cross the street without killing someone – you think you can trust him to pick out anything decent for Valentine’s Day?  Please. He’ll show up at your house with a chewed up foot and expect you to ooh and aah like it’s friggin' Godiva.  I’m so over it.

5. And the number one reason a flesh-eating scavenger is a bad valentine – he’s bad in bed.  Sure, he’s hot and hung like a hippo, but seriously?  Necrophilia is so 2012.   

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