I'm ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille

Yes, once again, it's that most magical of days -- the Academy Awards. The day that inspires me to watch something besides Emily in Paris or Diners, Drive-ins and Dives.

As usual, I've attempted - and failed - to watch all the Best Picture nominees. But I did see seven and to be fair, Top Gun & Avatar were sequels. Also, I read All Quiet on the Western Front, so surely that counts for something.

But not seeing all the movies didn't stop me from wanting to plan snacks around each of them, because if there's anything I love, it's a theme. To make it interesting (also to save money and time) I went with an Oscar Eve wine + cheese pairing...and by pairing I mean Prosecco and a whole lotta cheeses.

So here, in all their alphabetical order glory, are the nominees for Best Snacks...ahem, Picture

1. All Quiet on the Western Pretzel - war is hell, but you know what isn't? Peanut butter filled & yogurt-covered pretzels. 

2. Blue(berry) People of Avatar: The Way of Water- I didn't see this one, either, because I saw the first one and that's three hours of my life I'll never get back. 

3. Banshees of Irish Cheddar - now, I love Ireland as much as the next person. It produced 17% of my DNA and Colin Farrell. But this was a movie that could have been an email. A long, finger-cutting, spiteful email. That being said, it's my pick for Best Original screenplay, because the dialogue was as much of a character as anyone else.

4. Blue Suede Cheese - Elvis was a movie that surprised me. I kind of thought, meh, who needs another movie about the King, but it turns out lots of people did, including me. Unique perspective and the showy direction style was perfect for a story told by a carnie. Also, my pick for Best Actor, or at least Best Actor who is probably stuck talking like Elvis for the rest of his life.

5. Everything (but the bagel) Everywhere All at Once crackers - on first watch, I couldn't decide if I hated or loved it, but in my defense, I was tired. I'm going with loved it - because I want to watch it again just to pick up on all the little details I missed - and any movie you want to watch again is a good one. (Also how can you go wrong with a movie with a Deirdre as a character?) Michelle Yeoh is my pick for Best Actress & the movie is my pick for Best Picture.

6. "Challah" if you think Stephen Spielberg is the GOAT (cheese) - The Fabelmans was the first Best Pic nominee that I watched, and I really enjoyed it. Coming of age stories are usually pretty good - plus this one has the bonus of being made by a famous moviemaker about how he learned to love movies...I know Hollywood loves a movie about Hollywood, but honestly, I do, too. 

7. "Bach"late Chip Cookies -- Tar was intense and impressive. It wasn't my personal favorite, but really only because it didn't surprise me. I expect Cate Blanchett to deliver rock star performances, and she did that here.

8. I don't give a fig (and olive crisp) about Top Gun, but Monterey Jack is the real Maverick -- Everyone I know who has seen this movie really enjoyed it. I didn't see it only because I had a bad date in the 80s that ended with watching the first 15 minutes of the original Top Gun and I have sworn ever since never to finish that movie, and I figured why start now?

9. "Havarti" yourself a triangle of Danish cheese & Shipwrecked Scandinavian swimmers - Triangle of Sadness. Of all the movies I expected my 16-year-old to like, a Danish film about power and social hierarchy wouldn't have been my pick. But that's why I love the Oscars. Every year, we find at least one movie to watch together - and if that isn't the magic of cinema, I don't know what is. 

10. Women Talking (about my Queso Menonita*)  - this was my favorite movie, by far. One of absolute favorite types of movies are the quiet ones that blow you away, and this fits the bill. Subtle and powerful - and I liked the fact that it took something awful, but never let that awful be the focus of the story. 

 

BONUS - You know what's better than Vibranium? Chocolate! I know, I know, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever is not a Best Pic nominee, but my other son's favorite and my pick for Best Supporting Actress, so in honor of that film's precious substance, here's something almost as valuable...

May the Best Picture Win!

*I looked in three different stores for block Queso Menonita, but I finally found shredded Chihuaua queso at El Rancho, which then turned into actual "chips and queso" queso. Oh well, there are worst outcomes than liquid cheese.