Nathan's Famous

Today is the 4th of July. Which means two very important things in my house: the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog eating contest and the annual watching of Jaws. 

Why Nathan's? In 2006, two important things happened to change the course of history.

 1. Takeru Kobayashi won his sixth and final title at Nathan's in Coney Island.

2.  My oldest son was born, but first he attended (in utero) the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.

Some people can say they've seen Michelangelo's David in Florence. Others have run with the bulls in Pamploma, Spain. I've been to Coney Island for the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.

We'd moved to NY months earlier and I challenged myself to learn the subway system by picking random destinations and trying to reach them by train. Wall Street, then the West Village - and then I upped the ante by venturing out of Manhattan to Coney Island. It was mid-week, early spring and chilly. The rides were still, the boardwalk was empty, gray and peaceful. I walked around by myself and of course, I strolled over to Stillwell and had a Nathan's Famous. (With mustard and ketchup, don't come at me, anti-ketchup brigade).

Long before Nathan's, I'd considered myself a friend of the frank. I've enjoyed the Chicago-style with pickles and sport peppers (sport peppers just sound zippy, don't they?), Detroit Coneys with chili and mustard, and I've been known to have one (or two) foot-long Lucky Dogs, best consumed on a street in the French Quarter at 2 a.m. outside a karaoke bar.

But there's just something about a hot dog eaten in a 100-year-old restaurant on a blustery day in Brooklyn that sticks with you. So when I saw the contest advertised that 4th of July, it seemed like the most obvious choice for celebrating our nation's independence.

I did not anticipate two very key factors. One was that everyone else had the same idea and quiet Coney Island in March is not the same as hot, crowded Coney Island in July. Also, four months pregnant + the steamy pavement and sunshine and sweat of NYC summer = misery. 

But I stuck it out long enough to see (sort of ) Takeru Kobayashi down his final dogs of glory. 

That was my first and only time to see the contest in person, having moved back to Texas the following summer. But ever since ESPN started broadcasting it on TV, I've adopted it as my annual patriotic tradition.

Because I challenge you to find anything more quintessentially American than George Shea whipping a crowd into a frenzy over gluttony with such poetry as, "He is the citadel, and he shall endure forever, because he is freedom."

Give that man an honorary Tony, because the contest is American theater at its finest. If the Oscars are the pinnacle of cinema, then Stillwell Avenue in Brooklyn is the Hollywood of competitive eating and George Shea its ultimate master of ceremonies.

At my house, we relax in air conditioned comfort as we watch George Shea work the audience like a Vaudevillian on steroids in a boater hat. And then we make lunch...hot dogs, of course. Because 'Murica. 

It might seem strange or even grotesque to cook the same meat you've just watched Joey Chestnut down 60+ of in ten minutes, dipped in water first to soften them, wincing as you watch  the others gag, trying to force yet another down. Futile, you know, because Chesnut is seemingly unbeatable.

But I remember that anything is possible in these contests. After all, if a first time mother-to-be, full of hopes and dreams and heartburn, took the Q train on a sticky, summer day to watch a group of strangers shovel sausage and squishy bread down their throat, there are no limits.

How do you measure greatness? With a frank, a bun and a dream.

I'm ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille

Yes, once again, it's that most magical of days -- the Academy Awards. The day that inspires me to watch something besides Emily in Paris or Diners, Drive-ins and Dives.

As usual, I've attempted - and failed - to watch all the Best Picture nominees. But I did see seven and to be fair, Top Gun & Avatar were sequels. Also, I read All Quiet on the Western Front, so surely that counts for something.

But not seeing all the movies didn't stop me from wanting to plan snacks around each of them, because if there's anything I love, it's a theme. To make it interesting (also to save money and time) I went with an Oscar Eve wine + cheese pairing...and by pairing I mean Prosecco and a whole lotta cheeses.

So here, in all their alphabetical order glory, are the nominees for Best Snacks...ahem, Picture

1. All Quiet on the Western Pretzel - war is hell, but you know what isn't? Peanut butter filled & yogurt-covered pretzels. 

2. Blue(berry) People of Avatar: The Way of Water- I didn't see this one, either, because I saw the first one and that's three hours of my life I'll never get back. 

3. Banshees of Irish Cheddar - now, I love Ireland as much as the next person. It produced 17% of my DNA and Colin Farrell. But this was a movie that could have been an email. A long, finger-cutting, spiteful email. That being said, it's my pick for Best Original screenplay, because the dialogue was as much of a character as anyone else.

4. Blue Suede Cheese - Elvis was a movie that surprised me. I kind of thought, meh, who needs another movie about the King, but it turns out lots of people did, including me. Unique perspective and the showy direction style was perfect for a story told by a carnie. Also, my pick for Best Actor, or at least Best Actor who is probably stuck talking like Elvis for the rest of his life.

5. Everything (but the bagel) Everywhere All at Once crackers - on first watch, I couldn't decide if I hated or loved it, but in my defense, I was tired. I'm going with loved it - because I want to watch it again just to pick up on all the little details I missed - and any movie you want to watch again is a good one. (Also how can you go wrong with a movie with a Deirdre as a character?) Michelle Yeoh is my pick for Best Actress & the movie is my pick for Best Picture.

6. "Challah" if you think Stephen Spielberg is the GOAT (cheese) - The Fabelmans was the first Best Pic nominee that I watched, and I really enjoyed it. Coming of age stories are usually pretty good - plus this one has the bonus of being made by a famous moviemaker about how he learned to love movies...I know Hollywood loves a movie about Hollywood, but honestly, I do, too. 

7. "Bach"late Chip Cookies -- Tar was intense and impressive. It wasn't my personal favorite, but really only because it didn't surprise me. I expect Cate Blanchett to deliver rock star performances, and she did that here.

8. I don't give a fig (and olive crisp) about Top Gun, but Monterey Jack is the real Maverick -- Everyone I know who has seen this movie really enjoyed it. I didn't see it only because I had a bad date in the 80s that ended with watching the first 15 minutes of the original Top Gun and I have sworn ever since never to finish that movie, and I figured why start now?

9. "Havarti" yourself a triangle of Danish cheese & Shipwrecked Scandinavian swimmers - Triangle of Sadness. Of all the movies I expected my 16-year-old to like, a Danish film about power and social hierarchy wouldn't have been my pick. But that's why I love the Oscars. Every year, we find at least one movie to watch together - and if that isn't the magic of cinema, I don't know what is. 

10. Women Talking (about my Queso Menonita*)  - this was my favorite movie, by far. One of absolute favorite types of movies are the quiet ones that blow you away, and this fits the bill. Subtle and powerful - and I liked the fact that it took something awful, but never let that awful be the focus of the story. 

 

BONUS - You know what's better than Vibranium? Chocolate! I know, I know, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever is not a Best Pic nominee, but my other son's favorite and my pick for Best Supporting Actress, so in honor of that film's precious substance, here's something almost as valuable...

May the Best Picture Win!

*I looked in three different stores for block Queso Menonita, but I finally found shredded Chihuaua queso at El Rancho, which then turned into actual "chips and queso" queso. Oh well, there are worst outcomes than liquid cheese.