Thursday, December 8, 2016

'Twas the Day After Thanksgiving

Twas the day after Thanksgiving and through the post-turkey fog,

Not a creature was stirring…except obviously the dog.

The leftovers were stashed in the too-crowded fridge

There was no room for pie, not even a smidge.

The children were nestled with snacks in between

On the couch, where since 5 am they’d played Madden ’17.

And I in my bed, the covers pulled up tight,

Sighed, wondering how to avoid a political fight.

What on earth could we do to spend another day,

Without all our opinions getting in the way?

Suddenly a magical idea took shape.

A movie… one written by the one who made Snape.

I leapt out bed, shouting,“Y’all, we survived the feast,”

“So let’s go to the movies and see Fantastic Beasts!”

“Away to the movies?” my kids grumbled. “No way.That sucks!”

“We’re playing football, we don’t want to; we’re stuck.”

But the sun from the window on this cool autumn day,

Gave me strength to fake a smile, and reply, “Oh, kids? Yes way.”

With a movie review so much like Harry Potter,

I knew in a second… we really just oughter.

More rapid than quarterbacks we flung into the car,

(While my husband calculated when he could escape to the bar)

Now Parker! Now Luke! We don’t want to be late!

For the love of God, someone put that dog in the crate!

To the top of the theater, to our assigned seats!

Shut up everyone, I swear to God, this is a treat.

So up to the chairs, the kids, how they flew…

We want popcorn, we want soda, we want pizza, too!

And then, in a twinkling, I heard from the screen,

About 20 minutes worth of ads, which made us all a bit mean.

As I sucked in my breath and said “yeah, guys, I know,”

The sound blared and FINALLY the lights turned down low.

The film started with music that I knew in my heart

Hello Harry soundtrack, my, what a good start!

The characters how clever, the bad guys so scary

(Though Colin Farrell, I confess, always makes me so merry)

On Colin, On Eddie, on Tina and Queenie,

On Jacob, on Grunewald … my God, what a meanie.

The effects were amazing, couldn’t pick which was best

And they put all thoughts of politics to bed for a rest.

The story was sweeping, it took me away.

Until Luke said, “I need the bathroom, where is it, which way?”

I pointed to the exit, my eyes on the screen,

My mind consumed with each riveting scene.

The prancing and pawing of all magical creatures,

Obliterated the election in this fabulous feature.

Hours (and bathroom breaks) later, the movie scrolled to an end.

And I wiped away tears … yeah, I know, just pretend.

But as we rose from our chairs and half my family complained,

Luke whispered, “I liked it,” and I winked, no agreement feigned.

So from my house to yours I send this silly Christmas carol,

And remember, in a pinch, we've still got Colin Farrell.

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