Reality TV Shows of my dreams

I'm not hugely into reality shows, because if I watch TV, it's because I've run out of things to read and I am heading AWAY from reality, not toward it. But if I do, I don't want to watch another episode of The Bachelorette or any show where people eat scorpions or yell at each other. I'd like something new, something fun - something I could really enjoy while downing a glass (or three) of wine.

So in case anyone's asking, here's a few ideas for new reality tv shows:

1. The Real Tired Moms of Every County. Follow the exciting lives of working moms and SAHMs as they fight to stay conscious while entertaining kids/working on power point presentations and making dinner nobody eats. Like ever. All while secretly wishing every day was a national holiday devoted to drinking margaritas and flirting with cabana boys.

2. 2 kids and counting... till happy hour! I don't think this needs explaining. If so, I got a couple "energetic" boys you could borrow for the day. You'll get it.

3. Master Chef: Family Meltdown. Gordon Ramsay visits your home and yells at everyone to come to the #$%^ table and eat this @#$% dinner you bloody well #$$^ just cooked. Bonus? Your kids finally @#$$ eat.

4. Extreme Mom Makeover: a team of experts sweeps into town, gives an unsuspecting mom fabulous hair and a new wardrobe from somewhere that does not also sell milk and dog food, plies her with wine, redoes her house and send the entire family to group therapy while Mom hits the club. With the cabana boy.

5. The Getaway Girls New Orleans Reality Show: yes, shameless book plug but hear me out. Let loose 4 grown women in the Big Easy, hide a pile of money and clues all over town, add lots of booze, a dash of voodoo and possibly strippers. Think Survivor meets Twilight meets The Big Easy meets The Amazing Race meets ... well ... strippers. It's got sex, mojitos and great hair.

Now who wouldn't want to see that?

HAPPY TUESDAY