Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Haikus from Corporate America. Because it's Tuesday...

I am so sleepy
Power Point makes my eyes bleed
Oh snap – clip part porn!

My email just crashed
But my internet still works
Hmmm, what’s on Twitter?

My email still down
Oooh, who viewed me on Linkedin?
Mom – stop stalking me

My boss is angry
She is yelling on the phone
But – phew - not at me

Conference calls suck
They make me suicidal
What are we talking about?

I have a deadline
But Pinterest sent me Brad Pitt
They know me so well

I missed my deadline
But I need to check Twitter
Oops, missed it again

Deadline is so screwed
But a Duggar is engaged
Quit distracting me!

Deadline was last week
But LiLo is on Oprah
Am I not human?

This form is boring
Ten bucks nobody reads it
Filled out in Chinese

Turns out I was wrong
Newsletter team not amused
My Mandarin sucks

Thank God it’s Friday
Wait, what? It’s only Thursday?
Well-played, God. Well-played

Call at 3 o’clock
Right now it’s 2:42
Plotting my escape…

I may not like you
But if your kid’s a girl scout?
Yeah, I’ll take thin mints

I talk in questions?
So you? Don’t Know? What I mean?
And nothing? Gets done?

Oh! There’s that weird guy
The one who roams the hallways
His stealth intrigues me

The weird guy is back
He stalks the marketing girl
They speak of yogurt

He looks exotic
I will call him Eskimo
And I will track him

Eskimo walks again
He looks kind of hungover
Does he drink at work?

Eskimo came by
Turns out he does drink at work
And now? So do I

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